Are You Willing to Work Through Conflict?
Are both persons in the relationship willing to work through conflict?
We must have a “yes” to this question if we want any hope of one day creating a successful marriage out of the relationship. In any relationship where there is true depth and continued growth there will most definitely be conflict. Conflict may seem scary but it is actually the result of different people trying to reconcile merging two lives together. Each conflict we go through carries the potential to increase our relational faith and intimacy when we are able to push past our differences and choose love and understanding. Conflict is often the gateway through which we pass to gain new levels of depth and closeness. So if we are dating someone who cannot handle conflict and won’t deal with the natural friction that comes from merging two lives together, it will be very difficult to move deeper with one another. Every time we experience relational conflict and choose not to face it, the result will further the feelings of hurt, fear and distrust instead of building connection – as conflict was meant to do. It is always good to keep in mind when going through conflict that, even though it is scary and hard, it’s an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. Try to choose understanding over being “right” while working through conflict and remember to take turns listening to each other. If both of you are trying to be heard at the same time, most likely neither of you will be. If all else fails, seek help from those around you who have experience and God’s wisdom in this area. Conflicts are a great opportunity for our relationships as long as we face them and move through them.
*This question is taken from the Relationship Health Checklist in the Single Life Workshop Manual.
by Brendon Byrne