Q & A: Is it Okay for a Girl to Pursue a Guy?
Q: Is it okay for a girl to pursue a guy?
A: I believe that its not only okay but necessary for the relationship. I believe both man and woman need to learn how to pursue each other. We don’t pursue out of trying to win the other person over. We pursue to risk and to accurately express what is in our hearts. If we do more than what is in our hearts, it can run the risk of being flattery and then we’ve stepped into the realm of manipulation to try and win someone over. If we express less than what is in our hearts we are living passively and missing out on the fullness God has for us. It will probably look a little different for men and women but we both need to learn how to give to one another. Pursuit means that we are able to risk being our true selves with the other person without being controlling or passive. It is a beautiful thing being able to risk for someone you care about. I do believe there is something God put within a man to risk and win the heart of his woman through courageous expression, and even though it scary for us guys, it is actually a gift from God to us men. We all come more alive when we courageously express what is in our hearts; and it may look a little different for women but you are meant to experience this gift as well. Pursuit is scary, that’s why its called risking, but when we are acting out of our genuine emotions rather than just trying to just “get” someone, God will always give us the courage and strength to express who He has made us to be if we invite Him in. Pursuit does not stop after you get married. I can promise you women that you will want to be continually pursued by your husband and he will want to feel continually pursued by you, so you might as well start learning this as you date. For both men and women, when you are trying to pursue in a relationship, simply ask – “God what does it look like for me to courageously express what is in my heart in a way that isn’t being passive and isn’t being controlling?” Remember, Godly pursuit should give the person complete freedom to say “yes” or “no” to us.
by Brendon Byrne